Idiosyncrasies of Engineering!

This is perhaps the most bitter experience I’ve had in the 4th year of my engineering till now. It has only exacerbated me to the helm of my mental tranquility. No matter how cool I am, incidents like what happened today can definitely vex me so much that I am on the verge of getting depressed and I am just trying to vent out my feelings here. This is the first time I’ll probably try getting out of such a lachrymose mood by railing here.

Not that I am crying or whatever, but sometimes it feels as if I really haven’t succeeded in proving myself as an honest human being and a practical individual, and that I know I very well am. I really don’t give a fuck to anything people think or say about me. But, the fact being I do get hurt sometimes when anything like that really happens. And believe me, I am one weird case of getting sentimental.

I don’t know but somehow this week hasn’t been fruitful enough as much as I would have expected it to be. I lost in the quiz in the 2nd round and the cricket match today by 3 runs. Losing in the quiz was not that bad a setback, considering we were the defending champions of the last year. But, what really pissed me off was the loss in the cricket match today. Ever since we lost the match, I have just not been able to get over with it. I wouldn’t want to go much into describing the entire match here. But, in brief we weren’t able to chase a stiff target with almost 6 wickets in hand at the end of the match. The top order wasted too many deliveries. I did not bat (Just in case you didn’t know my mettle, I bat pretty well. It is not that am a braggadocio, but my ego that’s been hurt here). One of my dreams of facing even a single delivery in all these 4 years has just been fucked up.

Everything said and done, I did not talk much to anyone after the match. I thought sleeping it off would be a better option and that I would forget it all tomorrow. But, some motherfucking dickheads wouldn’t just let me get away with it so easily. They would constantly pester me with their slanderous remarks behind my back and term me as a “LOOSER”, not knowing the very fact that “LOSER” has just a single O and not double O’s. On top of it, it is just too disgraceful to hear anything like that from one of my batchmate’s and that too being scribbled on the door of my room in big capital letters. When I woke up after a somewhat ‘not-so-good’ sleep, I had to eventually rub it off from my door with me getting intermittent mental shocks every time I erased a letter. It was more like the scene of Chak De India when SRK had to face all of it. I know whoever did this (I have a hint but am not sure), is no more than a bastard (and I know what bastard really means). Why couldn’t he say that to me on my face if he had the guts? The answer being simple, every goddamn batchmate of mine knows how smart I am when it comes to answering their fucked up recriminations and that I can make their life hell when it comes to proving my point. I am craving to know who really did this so that I could at least give him some “basic elementary spelling” lessons, if not a pummel of altercations.

You can perhaps now understand the pathetic state of people I am living with. I’ve had so many experiences all these years and with everything, I only manage to learn some or the other thing. On the contrary, when it comes to accepting defeats, I have never ever in my life done that. I have done well all my life and I can proudly say that I have been complacent enough. I just wanna get over with this defeat as soon as possible so that I can start focusing on a rather important issue i.e. GRE. Not performing well in GRE would be something way beyond my imaginations then. Tell me, is accepting a defeat so difficult? On a serious note, I’d rather be optimistic and hope all these fiascos will rather be a boost for me to perform well on Oct 8th, the D day. Pray for me. I don’t know what really is in store for me.

God save my soul.

Tc all!