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Let's Go!December 1, 2006 by The Third Umpire Settle down, gang and welcome to... something new. Yep - it's The Third Umpire's blog. Well, it's not a blog, more of a diary - you can't write in your comments at the bottom. I don't agree with interactivity. What's in it for me? Obviously, it would be insane for me to stay up all night doing the over-by-overs. The Aussies have got the Bunyip, anyway, which is about all they deserve, I guess. Hence this blog, for the small army of followers that our summer OBOs have attracted (Stevan Ellans, mainly). I'm off to Australia next week, of course, so enjoy me while you can. Soon, I'll have fallen convert to the Oz way of life and will be raving about:
New Year's Eve in Sydney. They have fireworks! Imagine that! We don't have them in England, you know. Well done!
Swimming being a great sport. Boy, it's interesting to watch, isn' t it? The Third Umpire uses the pool at his local gym regularly of course - once every six months. Don't worry, though, readers: if the boat sinks I 'm a strong enough swimmer to save myself. If it sinks in the harbour, at least.
Wearing vests to social occasions, including out to restaurants. Nice.
Pub rock. A trip to Australia is a trip to the source of bar-room boogie: this is the country where Status Quo are banned for being too musically adventurous (One for the teenagers, there).
Any other Aussie things I may embrace after spending too much time with my brain exposed to the sun, readers? [email protected] (I really AM going to Perth so if anyone has anything clever to recommend in the way of places to see, whatever, feel free.)
Was the first Test all bad for England? As a question it's up there with 'Has the shoe-bomber had an unfair press?' or 'Does Punter Ponting look EXACTLY like George W. Bush?' But hear me out, will you? Brisbane was a big toss to win. Sure, Punter looked unstoppable and England's bowling looked as lightweight as supermodel's lunch. But what if England had batted first? What if KP and Fred hadn't been wrongly given out in the first innings? See, I reckon that, against only four bowlers, England - if they escape a farce/collapse - can really grind down the Aussies. Pigeon already got injured in the first Test, after all. England were thrashed at Brisbane: Tinker Harmison had a shocker; the Wingco let himself down and Jimmy A looked like a juvenile. But the Aussies know that England aren't as bad as they looked - and so do England. Or am I wrong? [email protected]
Well, it's the story everyone's talking about. The boy looked nervous and out of his depth, awed by his battle-hardened opponents. His lines were all wrong and sensible critics suggesting he be sent home and replaced. Yep, we're talking about the face of the BBC's highlights package, the boy Manish and the occasionally excruciating sight of him backing away from Boys and Greigy like they're about to smack him one. To be fair, it looks as though Boycs IS about to smack him one. (Man, he takes it seriously, doesn't he?) Straight from the Steve Rider school of 'professional' broadcasting, our boy Manish's showing so far has shown him falling between the two stools - he's not an ex-player so he doesn't know that much; and he's not allowed to come over like a genuine don't-give-a-monkeys fan - in the Soccer AM-style. So what you get is... bland. Come on, son!
We're running this comp to win an Xbox 360 during the over-by-overs, as you know. The best emailer over the series gets it. Various tactics have emerged early on. Chris Cooper - in England - stayed up all five nights and sent in a total of 159 emails over the first Test. 159! That's a genuine number. I can't believe it either. the prize won't necessarily go to the most prolific emailer, though. But neither will it go to people who write in and go: "Send me the Xbox" . We're fools - but we're not idiots. Will it go to the people who most often play ball with our suggested topics? I suggested London's own G1 bus route was the worst in the world - it makes the Nurburgring look like an afternoon stroll, but others begged to differ: Niall nominated "The 105 in hull: there's been 3 accidents in as many weeks, 2 fatal. have to catch it numerous times a week, its a scary prospect." Can THAT be true? Chris suggested THIS: "The 85 in Manchester can be bad: it once took me 20 mins to travel about 400 metres....crap or what?" Fancy getting a bus to go 400 metres! That's what we're up against here. Who knows what people emailed the Bunyip about after I went to bed. Swimming? Fireworks? Vests? Pub rock?
While we're here, why not 'check' 'out'..
SPIN magazine - the UK's top cricket mag is giving away a free England ODI shirt with every subscription right now. So for £36 you get 12 ace mags with all-star columnists (Tony Greig, Chalky Thorpe, Belly Bell, Imran Khan) mixed with behind-the-scenes access and the thin gruel of the Third Umpire's attempted comedy. For the tighter wadded, why not try three issues for a fiver? Go to spincricket.com now.
International Cricket Captain. Go through their link on the homepage and get a free download version of the greatest cricket game going. (With possible exception of Stick Cricket. Let's not fight over it, eh?)
So we put up them polls all the time and 5,000 of you a day vote on them. But you never get to see the results, do you? Does that concern you? If not, does it concern you that you're not concerned? Anyway, here's some recent results for ya:
Should England back or sack Tinker Harmison? 53 per cent said Back the Tinker - 47 per cent said Sack him.
Should Punter have enforced the follow-on at Brisbane? 74 per cent of you said YES.
Who should get the final spot in the Aussie team at Adelaide? Clark 64 per cent; Johnson 19 per cent; Spud Tait 17 per cent. That one's still running - have YOU voted?
I'm a big fan of old Origami Mahmood, of course. No kidding: when he gets it right, he looks completely unplayable, with trampoline bounce and lightning pace. And when he gets it wrong, he makes Harmy look as accurate as a laser-guided accuracy machine. But over the next month, Saj could be the man who defines coach Fletcher's reputation as genius or idiot. While the Aussies have rustled up 31-year-old Sarfraz Clark as their 'new' bowler, England look very thin, with only Origami and Pudsey Plunkett ("five GCSEs, volleyball coaching badge" lest we forget) as back-up. Promising, possibly, but not proven. Not ready. All that talk about the England injury crisis letting new players come in and step up is just talk: Saj had one great Test in the summer but still looks a long way from what proper/rubbish journalists like to call 'the finished article.'
A growing number of (possibly insane) pundits have been joining the Third Ump's campaign to get Poet Ruffian Jon Lewis called up. He's a Steady Eddie, experienced, on-the-spotter and he's good at rhyming. But that ain't gonna happen. He's not a Fletch favourite. More likely, Saj will come in and either be brilliant (with Fletcher proclaimed a genius) or hide-your-eyes woeful. Or, possibly both.
Now... who fancies a Chinese takeaway? More Blog EntriesWhere do we go from here?
April 18, 2007 by Sid The HatIt's time for the big axe
April 18, 2007 by The ScorerBeam us up Scotty; you've made the team
April 16, 2007 by The ScorerGive us back our cricket
March 27, 2007 by The BunyipBob Woolmer: one of the good guys
March 19, 2007 by The Third UmpireVirgil Vaughan's 70s hit and other matters
March 13, 2007 by The Third UmpireShould we all apologise to Mr Excitement? No.
February 18, 2007 by The Third Umpire'Build for the future.' Why?
February 7, 2007 by The Third UmpireEngland's ODI fiasco: a suggestion
February 4, 2007 by The Third UmpireLoye takes England into 21st century
January 22, 2007 by Sid The HatWith the Army at the SCG
January 9, 2007 by Sid The HatSpeak up, England. We're all listening
January 4, 2007 by The Third Umpire"I can't help it if I'm lucky..."
January 3, 2007 by Sid The HatBoxing Day at the G
December 30, 2006 by Sid The Hatback Back BACK!
December 27, 2006 by The Third UmpireWoe at the WACA
December 18, 2006 by Mrs Third UmpireThe final countdown...
December 17, 2006 by The Third UmpireDay 3: the surrender of the Ashes. (Or maybe not)
December 16, 2006 by The Third UmpireBack to earth with a bump
December 16, 2006 by Mrs Third UmpireSome notes from Day 2...
December 15, 2006 by The Third UmpireMy week with England by Mrs The Third Umpire
December 14, 2006 by Mrs Third UmpireNews (ish) from Perth
December 13, 2006 by The Third UmpireThird Umpire flown in to shore up Ashes bid
December 10, 2006 by The Third UmpireHas Fletcher lost it?
December 5, 2006 by The Third UmpireHistory repeating costs England...and their legacy
December 5, 2006 by Sid The HatCollingwood Commentary Bingo
December 3, 2006 by The Third Umpire
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