Some notes from Day 2...

December 15, 2006 by The Third Umpire

Well, I’m still hopeful that England can get out of this game with the Ashes still alive, though there was a kind of end-of-term feel to the last hour’splay at the WACA today: a kind of normal-service-is-resumed vibe as Australia batted against every England bowler over and round the wicket without too much trouble. The Pub Rock Islanders closed on 119/1, 148 ahead and if England don’t get a wicket early tomorrow, then it’s curtains...The ABC commentators were calling for Jamie Dalrymple to be drafted in by the end.
Yeah - he would have saved theAshes.
Not.
Today’s magic moments? Well, discounting Tony Greig saying, “You’d go and hang yourself if you got out to Symonds” two seconds before Fred and Jonah did exactly that.. you’d have to say that No 1 was Farmer Hoggard’s jaffa to bowl Alfie Langer with the first ball of the Aussie innings - always a surprise when that happens and for a moment everyone felt the Ashes might be back in the balance. No 2: Pigeon McGrath dropping a huge hit from KP on the boundary right in front of the Barmy Army - and then being moved away from the danger area by Warner - a very public and embarrassing sacking/bagging. No 3: Monty and Tinker’s last wicket stand of 40 - the best of the England innings - especially Tinker’s lunging sweeps off Warner.
(Mr Excitement Duncan Fletcher was nowhere to be seen on the balcony as Monty swept, drove and cut his way to a very respectable score, belying all the rubbish reasons for not playing him right from the start of the series.)

Still no sign of a motorcade at the WACA for Damo Martyn, despite Mr Cricket’s insane pleas. But there were a few signs that the Ashes might be slipping away from England... As the Big Fish and Punter batted out the final session after that first-ball loss of Alfie, the Barmy Army went very very quiet as England tried everything to get back into the game.
The crowds - including some of the supposedly barmy - were even streaming away with an hour still to go. My view on this? If you don’t want to watch, don’t come. Despite coming from a family where somone (Mr The Third Umpire senior) once left the theatre early to ‘beat the rush’ I NEVER leave anything early. Especially if my team is losing - you never know when there might be a little bit of magic, a late consolation goal or - in this rollercoaster game - a sudden turnaround. Or a surprise close-of-paly motorcade, led by Mr Cricket.

One thing you get from seeing the Test live - something that’s rarely mentioned in reports -is exactlyhow brilliant the Aussies fielding is: Symo Symonds especially is amazingly good, as is Mr Cricket: but where all the Aussie dives and chases ended successfully, England fumbled in the field plus Jonah Jones dropped Hayden off the Montster (noticeable too that when Jones came out to bat today, he got almost no applause from English fans - and that was BEFORE he made his four-ball duck.)

The thing you should know about England fans is that the Barmy Army is a tiny proportion of the whole lot: most of the people who can afford to splash two grand minimum to go and watch cricket on the other side of the world are people the age of your gran or - older readers- your parents. THEY don’t do much singing (Mind you, neither did the Barmies today). But even the silver surfers were booing umpire Rudi Koertzen’s insane decision to give the Wingco out today: well set on 42, he had a waft at Binger and all the Aussies went up - as did slow-Death Koertzen’sfinger. Exit Strauss. Snicko showed it was a rubbish decision. It could have been the final nail in England’s Ashes coffin, especially when added to the Lee no-ball that did for Ian Belly Bell yesterday. England have been a bit rubbish in this series but the luck has been against them too...

BTW The Aussies are going up EVERY SINGLE TIME the ball, passes the bat or hits the pad. Does that make them the new Pakistanis? Or is it outright cheating? Hey - I'm only asking the questions here. Binger got fined last Test for appealing too much but they're all still at it - jumping up and down when Strauss missed the ball by inches and persuading Rudy to raise the finger.
Bit tiresome, no?

Or am I wrong?
[email protected]

More Blog Entries