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LIB DEMS ARE THE PARTY OF GOD-HATING PERVERTS, DECLARES CLEGG

THE Liberal Democrats are the party of God-hating sexual deviants or they are nothing, new leader Nick Clegg declared last night.

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BRITAIN SAYS 'FUCK-YOU' TO BROWN PEOPLE

BRITAIN'S immigration policy is to be based on the use of Dulux colour charts, the government announced last night.

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'BUY ME A CARAVAN OR I'LL STEAL ONE' BROWN TELLS TAXPAYERS

GORDON Brown wants taxpayers to buy him a new caravan otherwise he will be forced to steal one, Downing Street said last night.

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Opinion

TO THE PEOPLE, I PRESENT MY VISION

By Gordon Brown

WHEN I was a small boy somewhere in Scotland, I remember meeting a poverty-stricken old man who coughed phlegm and bits all over me. Even though I was just a child, I vowed to do whatever I could to cure that man of his illness, and then destroy him.

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