Every time I sat down to write about this word “color”, my mind would go blank. Mentioned the same to Mala and she gave me the idea for the lines below.

The idea is to associate a color with people who are close to me…

I’ll start with

BLACK – it’s also one of my favs. But the person who it reminds me of is Rajiv coz of his sheer love for this color and always opting for an outfit in black when he shops for me :P … I remember one festive season he got me three outfits…all black!!

Also coz I think he looks nice in that black shirt teamed with grey trousers *ahem*

It also reminds me of my old blog :) and my love for templates with a dark background :P

RED – My son! He loves Red. It’s his fav color and somehow every birthday he ends up getting a lot of that color in the clothes people gift! Red toy car, Red yo-yo, Red power ranger….*sigh*

Also, Red reminds me of a certain someone who’s ready to be a bride :)

GREEN – Reminds me of maa and her love for plants and the little terrace garden at my parents. Mummy’s voice… that’s always so reassuring.

Also reminds me of Assam. Lush, green, wet monsoon days and all the friends I hung out with. Part of my favourite childhood memories…

SILVER (silver) – reminds me of daddy. His silver grey hair :) and sitting with him on the terrace watching the constellations and his stories of granpa and his love for astronomy….

WHITE (white) – reminds me of my granmas (maternal and paternal) … of thamma (paternal granma) singing early mornings….of nanima's (maternal granma) gentle reminders to chant the “hanuman chalisa” to ward of my fear of the dark….

Also reminds me of BUF :P coz the template’s been this shade from day one and then I find myself thinking of all the ppl I’ve come to know here… the good and the not so good times...the whole experience of being in it! :)

CREAM/Off WHITE (cream/off white)– reminds me of my lil niece. My favourite pic of her is in a dress of the same color. I can’t wait to see her for the first time ever next month!!

BLUE – Reminds me of my brothers… of being slung on dada’s back and whirled around the room…them singing “phoolon ka taro ka…” …me throwing my head back and laughing…watching the blue sky…

Never can listen to the song without tears in my eyes….

*ahem* right then certain ppl close to me will know the rather cute story behind “blue”. It reminds me of an old school time crush :P

PINK – coz it is such a feminine color and the first person it brings to my mind is Suchi. Whenever we think of buying her a gift, R and I end up giving her something in pink! :D It suits her best. Isn't pink the happiest color too :))

YELLOW – would be the frenz I hold so close and true to me. Esp. the sunshine girl Uttsy :) … and yes u, u and u :))

You make the world a brighter sunnier and happier place indeed!

BROWN – reminds me of “ruru” from the first day I held him in my arms and felt that first wet lick on my fingers….till the last time I saw him…old, limping and yet making that effort to show me he still recognized me. His tail wagging, his bark feeble… I miss him…May God bless his soul…

*sigh* I’m done…Thanks Mala :)

Call me crazy but the lines below just happened when I was drifting off to bed, having tucked away my baby (err..he prefers being described as a “big little boy” now!) … it’s past midnite, so rushing through…simply had to get this done or else I’d change my mind :P

“Sparkling diamonds
Sparkling brook
Sparkling stars
None compare to
Your sparkling look

You’re special in everyway
Growing dearer everyday
You make me smile
Laugh a while

I may call you a brat
You drive me nuts
But I luvvv you
No if no buts
none compares to you!”

For my forever sparkle – Vedant :)

This will be short and quick. More or less an update on what’s going on with me with respect to BUF.

I’ve heard from you (some not all but that’s ok) since the last post. I know one thing that setting up something that will appeal to everyone is next to impossible but the idea is to make it as acceptable as possible.

The first thing is, the basic essence of BUF is that it’s not a free for all group blog. It runs on the idea that people blog on something specific for a specific time period. I can’t generalize it and make it free from topics, then it would be “just another blog”. But yes, more flexibility is doable.

Secondly, there has to be a limit to the no. of posts per day – 1 to 4 should be fine – too much of it can clutter the space. And one post per BUFer for a topic too is fine or max two if there’s scope for more to be expressed regarding any topic.

I have some ideas in my head but since I have to get back on track, I’ll be slow with things here. Plus I want to settle everything before I go off on my vacation in Nov. Time is short and the festival season is slowing me down here.

In all this debating and talking through, I forgot to update stuff in the template. Plus not having Abhi/Sam with me in admin or any technically sound person is a severe handicap. But I’ll work out something. So basically it’s time for less talk and more work for me!

FYI, I will shoot a mail to the “still missing” people and I guess we’ll be a smaller group but hopefully a more focused and dedicated group of Blogger friends. I’d also welcome mails from those of you who can help manage BUF while I run off next month for my long awaited trip. I’ll need two people to coordinate – thanks :)

Now till such time I don’t get it all settled, I’d like to suggest a topic idea.

We run a word every week and you get to write a topic related to the word – any context, how you interpret it is your look out – be creative or funny or serious or miserable or happy …. Just write ppl !

And let’s limit it to two posts per BUFer for the coming week. I mean max two. If there’s just one from you, that’s fine too.

The word for the week starting Friday (5th October today) to next Friday (12th October) is –

“Fresh” (now use your imagination with this one :P)

Ps: I have a post sent in by Suchi that I will put up later in the afternoon. Please start this topic later in the evening so I have time to put hers up….Thanks.

Okay

Before I start off, a warm hugg for Poo – Congratulations baby :) … You must let me know when D-day is…and plz share pics on email so even I can have a look at *ahem* you know who :P

Now back to BUF…

Reactions were expected. And “No Reaction” was expected too. Personally I want to thank Keshi, Darsh, Amit, Neha, Loony, Poo and Vishesh for being around and for reaching out to me. It helps to get some perspective when one is as disillusioned as I have been…and maybe still am. I know kesh that not replying to your mails or leaving a comment on your post has you disappointed. I can sense it. And I’m sorry but I needed time out to get my thoughts in place. I want to thank others (Uttsy, Raj, Rajiv, Suchi...etc) for the “support” given behind the scenes (not @ BUF but beyond)… and I want to tell others who’ve walked through BUF and chosen to abandon it that now is the time to make a crucial choice – Get back or leave. I do not want to have to make the choice of removing names from the list one by one.

My problem as you all have rightly pointed out lies in giving a lot of importance to people who walked into BUF all gung ho and then took it for granted. I don’t know all of you personally but I do know some better than others so I may have been more agreeable with the reasons some gave and been doubtful about others. But yes, I was hurt more by people who chose to simply walk out of BUF to suit their convenience. I think there has been only one instance where I did not take someone in and another where a rather “disappointing” experience had one of us leave. Others have either left amicably or simply not bothered to let me know why. I can sit and get pathetically blatant but I think everyone knows which category they fall into.

For me it works like people walking into my home, having a good experience and then leaving without even a trace. It’s as bad as that! Agreed there maybe a few who didn't have a good experience with me personally but then again BUF is about everyone in it and not about who gets along with Ishi or not!

I know not everyone will get along with everyone. I had no desire to remain the common link because honestly I am not a “super” personality who had a common connection with everyone. There are some BUFers with whom I have no contact whatsoever. The emphasis has always been in everyone putting in the same effort to get along with all and sundry and to enjoy a common space to write and share views on topics…subjects etc etc.

*specific statements for specific people below - do not generalise them!*

But let me tell you again, we never really feel as hurt as this when its simple acquaintances that walk all over us. It hurts only when its people we think we know well. My mistake coz looks like I never really knew you then.

I don’t understand why there should be any formal talk between friends. I’m not cut out that way. If I think I know u well enough, I’ll take the liberty of picking up the phone and talking to you even if I have nothing specific to talk about. If you did the same to me, I wouldn’t be looking at my watch wondering when you’ll shut up and I can move on!

If you and I were working together in a project and you were someone I called a friend and not a casual acquaintance, I’d expect you to understand my criticism and give it back to me in equal measure and not just clam up and walk away coz you couldn’t handle my criticism or tell me the same!!

Being friends is not about being petty. Being friends is not about meeting occasionally and making merry!

I call that person a friend who can wait for me to come to terms with my disappointments – even if they felt I was making too much of nothing! I call that person a friend who can pick up the phone and simply hear me out.

I call that person a friend who can show me his/her worst side and not think that I’d hold a grudge forever. I call that person a friend who I may meet after ages and yet have a conversation like we were never apart.

Specific references and names will not be taken by me. It’s enough for me and them to know who I mean.

Who wants to abandon a space they gave so much to? I started BUF with no clue as to where we’re gonna go or how we’re going to be even a month later. In that respect, BUF has done great. I’ve always been very sensitive to people’s emotions. I can sense when they’re positive or when they’re negative. Ditto for the blog and I always treated BUF as home. The idea running in my head was like when you walk into a coffee shop and sit down with friends….have a nice conversation …a good time. That’s how I saw BUF.

I think it’s time to “de – clutter” BUF. It’s time to take stock of just who really wants to be in it and say a goodbye to people who cannot give BUF or BUFers time.

Honestly look at the past posts and comments. Where is everybody? And why the hell am I looking for people who really couldn’t care less. I get around a lot of blogs during the day. I spend hours on Orkut and Facebook, I see these “really too busy to get here” people all over the virtual world and they expect me to buy the excuse that they can’t get here? I’m sorry but I’m done being the “all understanding” Ishi. On second thoughts, I’m not sorry at all.

As far as topics is concerned and the great divide I have among BUFers who are still active. There are those who want “topics” to stay and those who want to blog on any “topic”. I of course feel what makes BUF different is the fact that we run “topics”. I know I don’t let “serious” topics in because they raise debates and arguments. Lets face it some of us get very opinionated (Me too). And I’d hate to see a fight break out because we can’t handle other people’s opinions. But then fine, maybe once in a while we’ll run a serious topics too…what’s needed is for people to come up with more suggestions.

I think it would be wonderful if we could share responsibilities on BUF…maybe take turns to run the show? That way I’d get my time out and you guys could work out your ideas?

All this is for the people I know who will be here. And I’d also like the ones who wanna walk away to get here and say so.

I’m done.

For the ones who made me believe in myself…like Keshi said…words cannot define the emotions I’ve felt. You are all very special in thinking beyond yourself.

Lets get some “reactions” so I can make BUF work again.

Like I’d mentioned in the last post, 30th is the last date for me to decide “what next on BUF?" Sadly I didn’t get any feedback from many of you besides the assurances of being regular here. Anyway, I’ve made up my mind after a lot of thought in the last one week. Since I’ll be busy through the weekend, I’m putting this up today. No posts anyway besides Amit (thanks Amit)

Here are the changes on BUF effective today.

1. Admin as such ceases to exist. I’ll come around solely for the purpose of checking if anyone’s shown an interest in joining this blog and take them in. Is there anyone else handling this? No.

2. BUFers are free to choose their own topics. Blog on any topic. Just try to space out your topics so they don’t clash with anyone else’s.

3. Comments will be open to all and not just blog members.

4. There’s a b’day / anniversary list on the side bar (the one’s I know of that is! *working on it. May show up next week*) and in future, anyone can choose to do a dedication (or not) as per their discretion.

5. There will be no response from the team id so do not address mails to that id. If at all there’s anything urgent to be conveyed, use the comments section / Shoutbox or if at all email me on my personal id.

But before any of you opts for that last option, I’m off blogs and won’t be around BUF much either. Though yes, reading blogs is like staple diet for me. Can’t live without that, so will be around commenting off and on :)

And I’m done now guys! Have fun blogging!!! BUF will survive or crash depending on the level of interest shown by all of you so well, it’s your call now :)

::: I have a song to dedicate to all of you btw. It's simply a movie I grew up watching and turn to when I'm feelin a tad bit sad! My time pass movie :P … happy listening :)!


Have a good wkend!!

Hi all ...

New topic(s) effective from 30th August 2007 till 9th September 2007 is

Your ADDICTION in life
How has Blogging Changed Your life?

Since the pace of the blog has been really slow, we are simply reducing the duration of the topics.

On 8th September we have the birthday of an ex-BUFer coming up… most of the old timers will remember Puneet of PuneetDreamz fame! Sadly he quit blogging once he tied the knot. But yes he did get back with one post here on BUF :) and we hope whenever he does feel the urge to blog, he will choose to do so here in BUF. Wishing him a wonderful Birthday!

Recently some amongst us have left BUF due to their busy schedules. They include DICE, Richa, Rajiv and John. And though we will miss having them around BUF, we're hoping they will keep visiting and catch up with us on the SB or our individual blogs and we'd like to remind them and every BUFer that they're always welcome back on BUF if and when they feel they want to write and blog!

And we’d like to share a part of Richa’s farewell mail here …

“This is definitely not to say that I will be cutting off from the people there. By now, I’ve met a lot of them, and keeping in touch with them is my personal choice, which I would love to do, and will. There are friends there I’ve just got to know and it feels like forever, and some who I met recently and still discovering... And I hope leaving BUF does not change it.

… Whatever you say, I don't think it's anything like the extremely vast groups like 'orkut' etc, its very personal and that’s what is so beautiful about it. Loved being here, and shall still be in touch. Love to all :o)”

We’d like for all of you to acknowledge her and other ex-BUFers and we’re sure you all agree that we’d like them to know they’re always welcome back here!

A change has come about in BUF due to certain unfortunate incidents. We hope you all have received mails from the team regarding this. The comments on BUF posts are now restricted to team members. We understand that there are many visitors who are not a part of BUF yet and may want to comment but the other alternative of comment moderation was less favourable as it would simply take away the flow of conversation that sometimes take place via the comments on posts.

Also we hope you have all received the mail regarding the SB?

Some have come forward with their replies and suggestions. We’d love to hear from all of you. If not mails, then through your comments to this post.

We will welcome requests from ex-BUFers wishing to post comments. We’re more than happy to send them invites and have them keep posting comments on BUF. Simply send in a mail to let us know.

And yes, we’ve sent invites to a few new people. They are familiar names in the blog world and some of you may have interacted with them here in blogs. Once they accept and come up with their intros, we hope you will all join us in welcoming them … Yes a warm BUFer welcome! Wait and watch :)

We’ll be back with the BUFer of the Week from the next update and to make it more interactive this time, we welcome your suggestions for the same. Leave your choice along with your comment to this post. Thanks!

That’s all for now people… Waiting to read up your posts!

My most memorable train journey sadly is memorable NOT because I came across an interesting stranger ...though yes I wish it were so :)! It’s memorable because of a rather unusual adventure! Some of you who know me well have heard me talk of it often.

When my dad was posted in Assam, I once traveled from Delhi to Guwahati (in Assam) with my grandma by train. Now since dad was working in the Railways, we would travel via train quite frequently. This time my grandma and I were traveling in a Saloon. Those familiar with Railway life will know that a “saloon” is a stand alone coach which is like a house in wheels - with a living/dining room, bedrooms, bathrooms and a kitchen. It’s used by rly officers to travel at work and is usually attached to the end of the train so as to help them inspect the tracks, etc. I’ve once lived on such a saloon for a couple of months…it was like living out a “caravan” adventure!

Anyway, it was a rather long journey but we loved the comfort the saloon provided and time seemed to fly by. We entered Assam early morning and were more or less ready to reach home by lunch time. When suddenly….20 minutes after we crossed the border…we heard a THUD…loud…and then the train gave several hard jolts….a screeching sound…and then SILENCE….the train stopped. Then we heard a wail…loud…pitiful. I was stunned. My grandma simply held me close and then she said what my heart already knew… she said “Bomb!” ….

At the time Assam was (still is to quite an extent) plagued with the problem of insurgency. Those were bad days there. Bomb blasts, terror killings were common place…a battle raged between the Government and the various insurgent groups there.

I gathered my wits and walked to the living room and we had one of the staff from my father’s office traveling with us and he came and told me “beta there’s been an accident…a bomb on the tracks…we don’t know the extent of damage yet but we have to get off the train RIGHT NOW”…I kept nodding my head but told him that my granma would need help getting off as the train was stranded in the midst of paddy fields and climbing off would be trouble for her and her bad leg. Plus there didn’t seem to be any sign of life nearby.

A village some distant away seemed deserted. Not a single soul from that village ventured out to help. Maybe they were scared. Maybe threatened not to help. Maybe they sympathized with the people who caused this to happen. I don’t know…

Luckily for us, the train had a lot of army people traveling. Many of them took charge of the situation and had people evacuating the area in a rather organized way. Some helped us get my grandma off and we walked along the tracks away from the train and gathered at a fair distance off…I guess that was when it all hit me that we very narrowly escaped death! I watched people all around me…most in shock, some crying, some dazed…I was scared, angry…and I ached to be with my parents. There were no cell phones back then so I had no clue how to contact them …I seemed to be in the middle of nowhere!

Meanwhile, back home my dad got the first call from the Control Room (he was one of the senior most officers of the Zonal Rly then) and my mom happened to pick up the parallel line at the same time… her heart sank as she heard the operator inform my father “Sir the *x* train has met with an accident…bomb blast… and there are many casualties” …My father did not accompany the rest of the senior officers team but had his driver drive him non stop to the nearest station to the accident site. Mom stayed home…waiting…waiting…to hear if we were alive…

….. It is a rather long account. I won’t get into details here. Eventually we did get home. A lot more happened in between. Of all that, the one I always tell people about is when my grandma suddenly felt faint and turned to me and said “Ishita I need my medicines” I said ok I’ll get u some water. She said “No no…I left my medicine box on the train!”….I was like... “Oh! But I can’t go back there” and yet I knew she had to take her heart medicines. I made up my mind and started the trek back to the train. One army chap ran up to stop me, “ Are u mad? U can’t go back! It’s too dangerous!”…. I simply said, “My grandma needs her medicines… I have to go!” He said he’s go with me, so we walked. I heard my grandma call after me “please get my Paan ka dabba too!”…. huh!?!! It was funny really coz here I was walking back to danger and she worries about her paan?!!!

Aah well, I also saw a side to my grandma that made me cherish her more. She reached out to so many people on that day…comforted so many strangers…hugged them close, cried with them…reassured them. All this from a woman who herself was so frail and ill.

Experiences like this and trust me I’ve had more… a plane journey that went horribly wrong… and being stuck in the SUPER CYCLONE in Orissa… well, such experiences have taught me a lot about treasuring what life offers me. I try not to take anything for granted…be it the lil moments of joy or the moments that upset me.

My biggest lesson - Life is unpredictable and u can lose everything in a split second! So value every bit of it and God knows I DO!
__________________________________________________

23rd August: Aakash (Vyom) ... I'd heard of him long before the invite to join BUF was sent out to him :). I'd seen him on Harjee's blog and then read his blog (silent reader I must add). Needless to say, I was more than impressed with the way he expressed himself. I do envy people who can write so well! :)

And getting to know him since has been a total pleasure and just the kind of thing that makes BUF so special. Meeting him in our first BUF Meet here in Delhi simply convinced me of the fact that he's truly a wonderful guy to know and call a friend. We (Uttsy, Suchi and I) later talked about just how cute his smile is and how we felt so totally comfortable - that day - with him. I'm sure later when he met up with fellow BUFers again, they felt the same way :) ! Personally, I find him a wonderful listener...coz the one time I had my longest conversation with him helped me a lot. I don't think I ever got to thanking him for simply being patient and hearing me out :) ...

I'm sure everyone here at BUF will join me in wishing him ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hope your day is the best ever and you have a wonderful year ahead Aakash!!!

_________________________________

Ps: Publishing this an hour ahead of midnight coz I just might fall asleep :P ... school day tomorrow! And then again I don't want to get in late in the morning!! Requesting people to hold off on publishing any new post till lunch time tomorrow or leave your post in drafts and we'll (admin) post it....Thanks all :)

Abhishek (abhi) and Sumit (sam) will be joining the Admin Team effective today. Hoping they will bring in new ideas and suggestions to improve BUF. I am around of course :) ... maybe not as active as earlier but definitely not passive either.

Send in topic suggestions and any other ideas people!

BUF is the FUN place it is because of all of you. Keep it fun and friendly guys :).. make this place ROCK!

Ps: If you've missed it, do listen to Jitendra's Voice Message ... not only is he a wonderful writer (and *ahem* good lukin) but he's also got another talent :) ... go on listen to the VM ppl...enjoy :)! And looking forward to hearing from you all too...leave msgs people!!! :)

New Topic(s) from 5th August till 14th August, 2007.

1. A Lesson Learnt
2. First Crush

Updates

***Birthday/Anniv dedications will be made on your birthday/anniv unless admin is off for the day! In that case, it will be put up sometime ahead of your special day or we could request someone from BUF to do the same.

***Personal updates you want to share with fellow BUFers can be sent to [email protected] and we will share it in these updates.

Upcoming birthdays!

5th August - Elina (Thumbelina)
23rd August - Aakash (Vyom)
26th August - Rajiv

Wishing Thumbee a beautiful BIRTHDAY and a wonderful year ahead :-) ... come back to BUF soon dear... You are missed :) !!!

She comes across as a very sweet and friendly girl. She hasn't come around here often as her new job keeps her busy. It's lovely to hear from her... and of course, the love in her life that keeps her smiling and happy :)!

Ps: Sorry for the delay in putting up this update. My net connection is off. Hoping it will be fixed soon *sigh*. Since this is rush rush..the announcement of the BUFer of the week is on hold for now.

***Changing the format of birthday dedications here @ BUF. Now the dedication posts will be put up on your birthdays rather than with the BUF update!***

3rd August: BUFer's sing the birthday song for Arjun :)

Popularly known as z000niee ... the z000n bug ... in the blog world. His bizzare sense of humor reflected in his posts made his blog one of the most 'favorited' blogs around!

I for one have spent many afternoons reading through his blog and laughing aloud :D. Although I missed meeting up with him in my last trip to Mumbai, I've had couple of phone conversations with him and my personal take on him (from what I made of the rather short conversations) is that he's not the totally bizzare person we would expect him to be! He's a nice and interesting guy to talk to and one who insisted that he was in fact a very shy and reserved guy :)

Ofcourse, when you read up the comments made by uttara, vipul, keshi, messy, etc on this post ... you'll get a better insight because they've known him a lot better than I have!

Happy Birthday Arjun! :)