Friday, October 5, 2007
(This was an old post from my personal blog...I just felt like putting it up here so people can laugh a little...just like how Poo thinks we should smile often...so enjoy guys!)
Genre: Humor (so chillax).
Genre: Humor (so chillax).
Ladies and (sometimes-not-so) Gentlemen, it seems like my love-life is in extinction. Therefore do I even have to tell you about my rather invisible sex-life? It's as dead as the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Precious fossils of it can be found in my mental museum. Well I'm not complaining cos I think this is how it was all laid out for me by the old man upstairs - maybe He knew where it would have taken me and slowed the pace after a few demented Dinosaurs. Just like wildlife protection is necesssary, Keshi's love-life protection is indeed required but it has no funds or organisations around it. No one seems to be even thinking it's an endangered species - most of them see it as a nutty species that need to be left alone. Anyways as endangered as I may feel, I also feel a great sense of relief that my love-life is near-death. Cos it lets me look around without bias and selfishness. I don't mean that people who have a love-life are selfish, but having a love-life in full swing sometimes makes you blind to other areas in life. Been there done that, so I'm talking about me, not you. Well the number of BFs I have had in the past (according to my love-life stats) is quite a healthy number and although that number is dwindling right now resembling the white Rhinoceros' count, I don't think my love-life needs to be secured in a sanctuary somewhere in Africa! Sometimes I do feel like I'm a rare species that's being oohed and ahhed at by a group of people on a safari. Anyways why do I think my love-life is in extinction? Well this is why:
**Potential partners only exist in the past/movies/blogs and is as rare as spotting a Giant Panda on any Tuesday
**Everytime my Blue-bellied Parrot of a love-life gets lucky, there's always a habitat killer
**When I do find a great guy, in the end it turns out to be that he was just hunting for my 'tusks' - leaves me feeling like an African Elephant
**When things get serious in my love-life, the very next day it mocks back at me like a Hybrid Spider Monkey and asks me to get real
**Each time I try to recall my last romantic encounter, I laugh like a Gorilla - not cos it's funny but cos the 'last time' seems like it was 100yrs ago
**Old aunts remind me that I'm running around without a man for some time now and that it's really uncommon in our family as much as the Red Wolf is in the world
**I'm receiving alot of wedding invitations these days (most of the brides are younger than me) and usually I end up being the only Snow Leopard at these weddings
**My mum says I'd be married to my car and closet forever, and each time she says that I disappear in a dash like the Pygmy Possum
**A friend brings a marriage proposal (for the 1st and the last time) and when I meet him he turns out to be a hairy-nosed Wombat - yes rare but wouldn't mind his extinction
**Potential partners only exist in the past/movies/blogs and is as rare as spotting a Giant Panda on any Tuesday
**Everytime my Blue-bellied Parrot of a love-life gets lucky, there's always a habitat killer
**When I do find a great guy, in the end it turns out to be that he was just hunting for my 'tusks' - leaves me feeling like an African Elephant
**When things get serious in my love-life, the very next day it mocks back at me like a Hybrid Spider Monkey and asks me to get real
**Each time I try to recall my last romantic encounter, I laugh like a Gorilla - not cos it's funny but cos the 'last time' seems like it was 100yrs ago
**Old aunts remind me that I'm running around without a man for some time now and that it's really uncommon in our family as much as the Red Wolf is in the world
**I'm receiving alot of wedding invitations these days (most of the brides are younger than me) and usually I end up being the only Snow Leopard at these weddings
**My mum says I'd be married to my car and closet forever, and each time she says that I disappear in a dash like the Pygmy Possum
**A friend brings a marriage proposal (for the 1st and the last time) and when I meet him he turns out to be a hairy-nosed Wombat - yes rare but wouldn't mind his extinction
**The opposite sex who is the responsible care-taker of my love-life seems to be pouncing away from me like a Sumatran Tiger that's being hunted for skin
**A great catch is as rare as a Silver Shark is and it seems such guys see me as a common over-populated kind of shark
**A great catch is as rare as a Silver Shark is and it seems such guys see me as a common over-populated kind of shark
**I feel as blue as the Blue Whale when I go to parties and see couples hugging and kissing that makes me wonder if I'm the only Brontosaurus left on Earth
**Mistletoe seems like some long-lost memory of a Short-tailed Chinchilla
**Going back to memories of past BFs and relationships makes me feel like I'm walking in Jurassic Park
**However, to me marriage sounds like a Californian Condor out to get it's prey so its really ok guys, I'm cool, don't shower me with sympathies now pleeeeeease ;-)
**However, to me marriage sounds like a Californian Condor out to get it's prey so its really ok guys, I'm cool, don't shower me with sympathies now pleeeeeease ;-)
Labels: choice topic, keshi