This 2004/5 Annual Report was circulated to and approved by the Trustees in July 2005.
Provide people with physical and social disabilities, especially those who live in emotional isolation, with the means to:
This period has been one of rapid development - with much interest in our expertise being expressed in the media and elsewhere. The formation of the Sex & Disability Alliance brings us into dialogue with experts from the major disability charities. Lack of funding has put important projects on hold. For example, an offer from organisations such as the Royal College of Occupational Therapists to give Outsiders leaflets out to each client cannot be fulfilled because we have no money to create or print such leaflets. New fund-raising initiatives are being discussed.
Outsiders' 25th Anniversary celebrations were joyful and spectacular, and thanks to Awards for All and the generosity of the venue, The Landmark. Representatives came from many other agencies and the event was covered by the media.
The Sex and Disability Helpline still gets approximately ten calls a day from health professionals and disabled people and we have established contacts with many of the other helplines and groups supporting people with all kinds of disability. I was invited to speak at a seminar onconsent at the FPA in London, have become a member of the Saturday Seminars run by the Tizard Centre of Canterbury University and belong to the Highlands Learning Disability Relationship Group - working on a local policy document.
I am liaising with researcher Lorna Couldrick to campaign for disability professionals to include sexuality issues as a matter of course when dealing with adult clients. I continuously update the information I accumulate onto our website.
The website won a Getting The Message Across Award and has now become a well-regarded resource. Outsiders-Chat and the V-Group are taking off. Our team of volunteers are taking new pride in their work, with new events on the calendar, many success stories in Outsiders and increased publicity. More money would allow us a new leaflet, application form and on-line services.
Outsiders is still regarded as pioneering and exemplary throughout the world.
Dr Tuppy Owens. June 2005
Outsiders is a user-led voluntary sector organisation for people with social and physical disabilities, responsive to the needs of its members, providing personal support and encouragement to enjoy life, and find a partner.
Outsiders members really appreciate belonging to a club where they are totally accepted, whatever their disability or sexual orientation. Social events are enjoyed where members can relax, be themselves and discuss their difficulties. Members who have gained confidence, and perhaps found someone, sometimes become part of the volunteer team and may even go on to become a member of the Advisory Board to advise the Trustees. They run local groups, send out the birthday cards, run the raffles, drive other members to events, become part of our phone support network, or contribute to the website, Outsiders-Chat or our magazine, INSIDE.
Our team of volunteers work in the London office and from home, answering phone calls, mail and emails from members, and looking after the website. Sue Nathan is membership secretary, Eleni Stephani social secretary, also running the new Outsiders Helpline. Alan Taylor manages the finances, website and trains volunteers to use the membership database.
New members are welcomed with a personal letter and phone call, a pack which includes all our literature, including a book called Practical Suggestions, which discusses all the ways members have succeeded in the past. Unsuitable applicants are weeded out. People who are discriminatory, racist or exploitative are rejected and people with more than a very mild learning disability are pointed in other directions.
The Outsiders Code of Conduct, Protection of Vulnerable Adults Policy and Child Protection Policy are sent to all new members. On joining, each must sign an agreement to confirm they have read our rules, these codes and policies through, and agree to adhere to them. A new membership application form is being designed to give volunteers better insight into the applicant, and encourage them to write more attractive wording about themselves on the membership list.
Members receive regular mailings three times a year, which include our membership list and magazine INSIDE. The magazine runs a regular interview, along with listing of forthcoming activities and articles by members. It provides an update of Practical Suggestions and services. A new feature is a short biography of all our trustees and volunteers.
The Club runs a postal library of over 500 books. During this period a total of 15 new books and leaflets were added, including the excellent book Holding On, Letting Go. Due to requests, erotic tapes will be added to the lists of publications on loan. The RNIB has expressed interest in receiving our list.
Monthly lunches are held in wheelchair accessible and spacious wine bars and inexpensive restaurants, which have nearby parking. People are made to feel welcome, and we ensure they are introduced to each other in the most relaxed and friendly way. Some people come along to a lunch several times before deciding to join. Others decide to meet their "new date" at a lunch as it provides a safe and neutral environment, where they are surrounded by friends.
Workshops are held at the London lunch. They are very well attended and growing from strength to strength. They are particularly powerful as they include people with no speech, blind, deaf and people with autism and Aspergers syndrome as well as people with mobility and all kinds of problems. Topics (often requested by members) have been included:
Participants complete a valuation form based on how enjoyable, useful and thought-provoking the workshop was for them. The responses are average 9 out of 10.
The last workshop was filmed by Channel 4, and the director commented on how very open and honest people are about themselves, and how much members seem to gain from the workshops. It was indeed a very fascinating workshop and concluded that it is advantageous to be as specific as possible about your tastes. Rather than "being interested in film" or "a certain type of music", you get a better response by naming your favourite film or piece of music. The office staff agreed to change the entry as often as the member wanted, to keep it up to date.
"What People Think of Me" was very moving. For example, Graham, of small stature said that people look down on him and don't take him seriously. Speed Flirting brought some interested scores and raised esteem. "Love" showed how many things people love outside the traditional relationship (and made us all feel loved). "Play" exposed how emotionally and sexually starved people find it difficult to be playful. "Safety" taught us lessons in negotiation. At "What Outsiders Means to Me" Sue (with autism) said she regretted telling the people at work she belonged to Outsiders because they have teased her about it ever since. One young man said that when he feels depressed, he looks at a copy of INSIDE and this cheers him up! He went on to say that his dream for the future was that Outsiders is given an Island where we can all live harmoniously.
All the workshops are written up and reported in INSIDE and on the website, so that other members can benefit.
Members enjoyed our 25th Anniversary celebration at The Landmark on 14th August, especially so as they had helped to plan it. The images of Eleni "Who's Gorgeous?", "I'm Gorgeous" were blown up as posters and reproduced as postcards to be put in accessible bars. Three make-overs were made at the event, including Sue, an autistic member, who was dressed up and made up to look beautiful. The first part of the day was for talks and workshops and the second part more participatory. Mat Fraser gave an address and joined in the activities which included a Tactile Fashion Show and Wallflower Disco. Afterwards we went for dinner in Zen-Garden next door. The event was re-affirming and led to the creation of the Sex and Disability Alliance.
The Outsiders New Year Party on 5 th February was packed and great fun at the Winkfield Resource Centre, Wood Green. With a free venue, food from Tuppy's croft and BYOB, the party costs us nothing, and it was amazing to witness so much pleasure being gained from so little!
Various activities are taking place on a monthly basis, as requested by members, including the London Eye, cinema, theatre, museum and art gallery outings, comedy nights and restaurants.
The e-group Outsiders Chat now hosts lively debates. The V-Group for disabled women offers opportunities to swap notes and support each other. The first problem the group is tackling is a common problem of not being able to open legs wide enough to enjoy pain-free sexual intercourse. We have been surprised by the lack of medical research on this subject and lack of willingness of experts to help us.
Success stories are written up in our magazine INSIDE and sometimes on thewebsite. Some of these are happy announcements of two people falling in love - for example blind member Toby with spina bifida member Michelle, and Paula with a speech disability with Sheffield Chris, but success is measured more in how people have moved forward, becoming more sociable, increased their self esteem, and stopped self destructive behaviour, such as over-eating. Eleni's decision to become the model for our 25th Anniversary was part of her personal effort to become more self-assured.
Volunteers make a point of all being in the office on Thursdays. They keep a log book of all office activities, to keep everyone aware of the progress.
The volunteers spent much of the early part of 2005 re-wording the entries on the membership list, consulting the members as they went along, to make members sound more interesting and positive. This has a dramatic effect on the response, and members were phoning in excited to be contacted by so many new members. This instigated the workshop on wording of your personal ad, at the London lunch. We have also updated the standard info sheets and welcome letters. We plan to put the price of membership up from £22 to £25 and from &163;11 to £15 for unemployed at the beginning of June.
Membership currently stands at 674, which can be broken down as follows:
The geographical distribution is representative of the population generally, with 9 living overseas. Ages range from 18 to 76.
Rather than confront members with evaluation forms about how successful the club is for them, we let them to know we welcome feedback, and that we take it very seriously, responding accordingly. Each item of feedback is discussed at the monthly meetings and unresolved problems are taken to the trustees. The two biggest complaints are that there are not enough women, and we are working on improving the ratio of women to men. The other is that Outsiders is too London and the South-based and we welcome funds to organise events in other cities. We continuously encourage members to get together to run local lunches.
We gain insight into the inner workings of the Outsiders, through workshops, phone calls, emails and interviews with members. For example, a house-bound woman who has been interviewed for a forthcoming issue of INSIDE speaks of her many contacts with others members during her 17 years of membership, and describes how she encourages them to come out of their shells and fulfil their dreams.
The Outsiders website won a Getting The Message Across Award from the National Information Forum "for supplying a substantial amount of information in a sensitive way". We have recently adapted the website to make it more female-friendly and we work hard to make our site the ultimate guide to social resources for people with all disabilities. As well as providing the relevant news and information, it lists:-
We are currently carrying out research so that the site can include lists of Local Counsellors and Therapist specialising in relationships, sexuality and disability.
Our new board of trustees have been very supportive ad eager to take on responsibilities.
Martin Craven stepped down as chair to make way for new Trustee, Greg Sams. Martin became Treasurer to replace Iain Bromley who had resigned due to ill health. We also lost Philip Dixon and Dee McDonald who were no longer able to come to London. Melissa Watson continues to be fund-raiser, but on a more limited level due to lack of time, and other volunteers are stepping in to help us. We are taking advantage of free charity advertising in the Evening Standard to attract new trustees. with fund-raising and charity work skills.
The trustees, fund-raiser, coordinator and consultant, Tulloch Kempe, meet four times a year in the London office. Meetings during the period of this report were as follows:
The SPOD office, consisting of three rooms and a garden in Camden Road, which had been pledged to Outsiders, has fallen through, as Islington Council have decided to sell the building instead.
Our London Office is a self-contained room in a wheelchair accessible block, rented from Workspace at £389.70 pm with a cupboard rented at £52.29pm. We have access to the Conference Room for meetings. Tuppy Owens works free of charge from an office in her home in The Highlands when she is not in London. The only expense charged to the Trust is for the telephone.
Our 25 th Anniversary celebrations at The Landmark on Saturday 14th August were financed by Awards for All, chaired by Tulloch Kempe and run by trustees and Outsiders volunteers and members. The images of Eleni were photographed by Venetia Dearden and produced by Chris Carr of Brain. The event was photographed by Nahid Belgeonne and filmed by Havana Marking. Sue's Make-over was done by Tracey Newsome. Speeches were followed by group awareness sessions, and these were run by Outsiders members, most of whom had never run a group before. The outcome of each group was reported in INSIDE. The Tactile Fashion show was organised by Charlotte and Karen. Mat Fraser began the Wallflower Disco, and red carnations were given out by Eleni.
As a result of writing to over fifty disability agencies, inviting them to the 25 th celebrations and to form alliances with Outsiders, we received very positive responses. For example, the College of Occupational Therapists invited us to come and speak about Outsiders, where they offered to give leaflets about us out to all new clients. The Sex Education Forum (National Children's Bureau) asked us if we would like to become members. The FPA invited us to come and chat about our work and Headway agreed to exchange newsletters. Articles about Outsiders appeared in the press, including and the Spinal Injuries magazine Forward.
Discussions at the FPA led to the idea of forming the Sex and Disability Alliance, for helpline operators and others providing advice on the subject. We thought everyone would benefit from exchanging views, learning from each other and working towards influencing policy. News about this group was distributed and put on our website.
Much enthusiasm resulted and eventually a convenient date was set for the first meeting. It is planned to take place in the conference room of Leroy House on Tuesday 14 th June. People confirmed include Sue Kristoffersen of the SCOPE helpline, Pat Nutting from the Learning Disability Helpline of MENCAP, Richard Curren, Director of Respond, Wayne Chapman of the RNIB Helpline, Loredana Roiter of the RNIB Emotional Support Service, Anna Martinez of the Sex Education Forum (National Children's Bureau), Julie Thomas of Disability Wales and the Sexual Dysfunction Association. Other individuals counsellors and therapists have also enrolled and others said they could not attend but wish to be kept informed. Each delegate has been asked to bring with them three questions which they find difficult to answer.
Outsiders hopes this initiative will:
The Sex and Disability Helpline continues to attract around ten calls a day and is answered weekdays 11am to 7pm. Missed messages are returned. Each call is recorded in a book so that the calls can be analysed. The only two difficult encounters have been when an over-protective parent called about her disabled daughter, and a man with learning disabilities became persistent. Otherwise, callers are delighted to have eventually reached someone who takes their sexual problems seriously, and they are extremely polite and grateful.
As a result of running the Helpline, Tuppy was invited to speak at an FPA seminar on consent, where she met the key pioneers on learning disability and sexuality. She has joined the Saturday Seminar Group, run by the Tizard Centre at Canterbury University.
Tuppy has joined her local Highland Learning Disability and Relationship Group. She has been asked to contribute to the sub-group which will be formulating Highland Policy on sexuality and learning disability.
Tuppy has written to the editor of Sexuality and Disability to offer to replace Morgan Williams, ex-Director of now defunct SPOD on the editorial board. She has now been invited to join the advisory panel of The Erotic Review. She receives almost daily calls from the media seeking advice. For example, Maverick TV are piloting a documentary on the sex education of young people with learning disabilities, and True North Productions are approaching Channel 4 with a proposal for a documentary about sexuality and physical disabilities.
Tuppy is in touch with the Outsiders volunteers on a daily basis by phone. She attends the most of the monthly progress meetings in London. She also runs most of the London lunches and is currently running the workshops. She has created all the copy for the website, and edits the magazine INSIDE
The book Private Pleasures, a beautiful full colour picture book aimed at educating learning disabled people, especially women, on the pleasures of sex, is being piloted, It will be produced by Tuppy and Victoria McKenzie. Another Victoria, an Italian artist living in Valencia has agreed to create the imagery. We seek more funds in order to be able to continue this project.
SPOD posters were widely distributed in day centres, surgeries, women's refuges, hospitals and libraries, and Outsiders is grateful to them for this hard work, as we now benefit with much of this publicity coming to us. We are increasingly being listed on databases and in reference books, such as the NHS Direct Directory of Organisations, Resources, Information and Services.
Our 25th Anniversary brought us publicity, with four pages in and a double page spread in Forward. In January 05 we were featured in a double-page spread article in the new disability magazine Achieve. A problem-page mention in the Saturday Times in late April, made reference to Outsiders, which a bunch of really nice new female members.
A Channel 4 Documentary about us is planned. Two students from Aberystwyth University made a twenty-minute documentary about our work as their finals project, which they hope to get screened on BBC2.
BBC TV Cambridge asked if they could feature a couple who had met through Outsiders for their Valentine's Day feature. Members Liz and Graham, a couple who met through the Club agreed to go on the show. This was especially moving as they make an extremely sweet couple.
Members are encouraged to speak to the media and at conferences about their difficulties. Most amazingly, on 16th September, James Palmer spoke on the importance of sex work for some disabled people at the LGBT Advisory Group meeting with the Metropolitan Police Service at the Friends Meeting House.
The Disability Now Sex Survey concluded that most disabled people have had too little sex education, are lonely and frustrated and are afraid to visit sex workers. This pointed the finger at what an essential service Outsiders provides and we were interviewed in the Survey's report.
We are helping American film-maker Suzanne Nobel with her feasibility study aimed at sex therapists and counsellors, on producing a commercial sex education video for and about people with physical disabilities. Outsiders would gain publicity from this. Suzanne says the topic of sex and disability is hot in the USA, with soldiers coming back from Iraq with missing limbs and other disabilities.
We plan to contact all the organisations listed on the Outsiders website with a press release about the website and our work.
Our annual Gala Ball raises awareness about the relationship needs of people with disabilities. The Ball is accessible and disability friendly and attracts many disabled guests. The booklet supplied with each ticket, The Little Book of Delights, devotes a large section on how to socialise with people with disabilities.
Our A5 poster, printed black on mauve, for libraries, day centres and other public places is in its second printing. We rely on members to get these distributed.
One of our members who lives in Glasgow, sent posters to every Scottish agency and club she could find, in order to increase membership and start a Glasgow group. We received a call from the Disability Officer in Orkney, who wanted to learn more. He told us that disabled people on the island are very well integrated until it comes to love, and most remain single. He thought it would be wonderful if they joined Outsiders to find partners, but thought they might take a lot of persuading, as they would find it unsettling. This conversation made us realise how much PR is needed to reassure disabled people that searching for a partner when you are disabled can be both safe and fun - and worth the travel and life-changes involved.
At the AGM in November 2004 our new accountant, Dorothy Burr of Strathpeffer was re-appointed.
Tuppy's salary was suspended in July 2004, as the Lloyds TSB grant was used up.
The Leydig Trust annual Gala Ball on 4th September made such a small profit that they were unable to make their usual substantial donation.
An Awards for All grant of £4,950 financed the printing, training and expenses of the 25th Anniversary celebration.
We have also received £2,500 from the Jackson Charitable Trust towards the office rent and £2,000 from the Baily Thomas Charitable Fund for the pilot of Private Pleasures. We await news of our applications to the Big Lottery Fund and the Gold Group International.
Melissa our fund-raiser apologises for not having time to apply for more grants but she will continue to support us in our efforts, as an advisor rather than fund-raiser. New fund-raisers are being sought. In the meantime, Tuppy is applying for grants. The trustees thought we should approach wealthy people who have become disabled, such as Larry Flynt, and try the MOD, and American Veteran Association.
The Jackson Charitable Trust are being asked for another £2,500 towards the rent.
Outsiders Trust receives regular funds from our Slough Estates shares (donated by an Associate member), paid every six months, to the sum of approximately £258, plus tax rebate.
Alan Taylor's computer, which he works on from home, broke down and he had to purchase a new one. With no funds available in Outsiders, his mother paid for it.
The Outsiders Club subscriptions and donations from members covers the cost of printing, postage and telephone bills.
Outsiders, runs a raffle at each lunch which pays for Volunteers travel expenses to and from the office.
Tuppy works a 60+ hour week on a State Pension, and finances are very tight.
Funding is required for:-
Kim is a long-standing supporter of Outsiders and has several friends within the Club. He is a lecturer and computer expert and sits on the board of the Leydig Trust organise our fund-raising events. His roles on the board are:
Martin runs several international companies and does charitable work in his spare time. He is a member of the founding committee of Hospice of Hope in Romania, and raised £1m for terminally ill children there. He trains the hosts for our fund-raising events. His roles on the Outsiders Board of Trustees are:-
Michael is a heating and plumbing engineer who has helped with our
fund-raising events. His swam in a disabled swim club, The Optimists
with his brother, a lower leg amputee. Michael helps one of his sisters,
who has
Gregory was a sixties pioneer, introducing natural foods to Britain and opening the macrobiotic restaurant SEED in 1967 at the age of 18. He started the Ceres Grain Store in Portobello Road two years later, and Harmony Foods (now Whole Earth Foods) soon after. Greg became paraplegic after falling out of a tree at University. His roles are:-
Vieta helped run Outsiders for the first three years, 1979-1981. Then she found paid work and trained as a sex therapist. Vieta now runs therapy groups, mostly for women and focussed around sexuality. Her roles on the Board of Trustees are:-
Sue has worked in the office for three years, producing the membership lists, and being responsive to members. She began her working life in the civil service, but since having her three children, she has done voluntary work. She is a yoga teacher and hopes eventually to teach yoga to disabled people.
Alan keeps the database and our website up to date. He sends our mailings to visually impaired and blind members by email, and runs the Outsiders bank account on-line. Alan became disabled at university whilst studying Astronomy. He is an application programmer with a diploma in electronics. He has worked for local authorities, the army and many private companies. He is in constant pain, has difficulties with balance and lacks confidence in social situations.
Janet has been helping in the office since 1994. She helps out generally and looks after the tapes for blind members. She has scoliosis with intermittent back pain.
Eleni is taking an increasingly active roll in running Outsiders, acting as host at the London Lunch and organising regular events. She was our model for the 25th Anniversary image. Eleni has cerebral palsy which had a detrimental influence on her upbringing. She now lives independently. After a course in business studies she worked as a Human Resource Assistant for 14 years at Haringey Council, for Kith and Kids Friendship Scheme, and a disabled person's youth club. Eleni won a Millennium Award for her work at the Enfield Cypriot Association.
runs the Ipswich lunches and sends out the birthday cards. Maz is an ex-magistrate, serving on the Ipswich bench until 2001. Maz is of small stature, with congenital scoliosis and suffers respiratory failure, using a respirator at night. She is a trained tutor in adult education, has served on the executive and management at Scope. She was Outsiders Treasurer until 2003.
Victoria ran the London lunches and workshops until she developed Post Viral Syndrome in May 2004. Victoria worked as supervisor of AIDS training at National Institute for People with Learning Disabilities and New York City Department of Mental Health. She assisted in YAI - You And I - a dating group for people with learning disabilities and initiated a theatre groups for people with learning disabilities in New York City. She has a BA from the University of Sussex and has spoken in the media at at conferences on HIV education and awareness.
Shital has run several disability charities and was Outsiders membership secretary for six months in 2003, after which she had health problems. She now has her own counselling practice, Aumshanti Counselling & Training. Shital is a wheelchair user with a rare progressive disability, and has a brother with MS.
Outsiders founder. Tuppy has a degree in Zoology and a Diploma in Human Sexuality from London University. She is Chair of the Sexual Freedom Coalition and Director of The Leydig Trust.
Tulloch has a BA Hons in Graphic Information Design from St. Martins School of Art. He currently manages a medium sized mental health charity based in North London and has initiated much of the mental health partnership working in Camden and Islington. He produces the largest annual mental health event in London with the support of Glenda Jackson MP who regularly attends along with Lord Melvyn Bragg. Tulloch is the stage manager for our fund-raising events. He is currently providing consultancy support to Outsiders to help us improve on good practice and raise the effectiveness of the board of Trustees.
Melissa has been the to Outsiders fund-raiser since 2002. Her degree was in marketing and law and she has diplomas in marketing and market research. She has been the fund-raising and marketing officer for the Haemophilia Society, London Play and Umbrella, doing freelance fund-raising for St Kame's House, Portugal Prints and Tiverton Primary School.
We seek to compare our performance with a well-thought-of similar organisations, and are currently approaching the Bristol Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Forum.
We would like to take this opportunity to thank the members of Outsiders for their support at the 25th Anniversary and for all the donations given over and above their membership fees. We also thank our associated members for their support.
As well as the Outsiders volunteers who work hard and endlessly, we thank the volunteers of the Leydig Trust who put time and energy into the fund-raising events. Special thanks to Lawrence Brightman, for his computer expertise.
Thanks for the devotion of the Trustees and for Tulloch Kempe, for moulding us into an effective, responsible board.
Thanks to Awards for All, Baily Thomas Charitable Fund and the Jackson Charitable Trust for current funding. Finally, thanks to all those who have supported us financially in the past, including those who have chosen to remain anonymous.