Best Man speech advice

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First up, here at Stags and Hens central we know that giving a Best Man speech can be one of the most anxious moments of your life and we sympathise. Not to mention the month's of nervous anticipation. Well, don't suffer in silence. There's help out there if you know where to look.

One of the secrets to overcoming the fear is to be well prepared and this means preparing and writing your speech well in advance. Don't leave it until the last few hours before the wedding, that can only lead to disaster and shows a lack of respect for the groom. Great Best Man speeches often involve a bit of research into the groom's past and you will need time for that.

Another secret is to get some help - whether it's from friends, books or websites (see below). Don't just struggle on your own, our advice is to get one of the books on the left hand side of this page to help you on your way.

Alternatively, you may want to consider a public speaking course. Companies like Skillstudio (www.skillstudio.co.uk) can not only help you overcome your fears but also work with you to write a great speech. Courses start at around £325.

More help

• Association of Speakers Clubs -
  www.the-asc.org.uk
• Speak First - www.speakfirst.co.uk
• Toastmasters International - we know people who swear by this course www.toastmasters.org
• London Speakers' Clubs
  These are non-profit making groups that help people improve their communication skills. Members have the opportunity to practice public speaking in front of a supportive audience, following assignments and receiving evaluation from experienced speakers. Guests are welcome to attend free of charge and will not be asked to speak unless they wish to. Joining fee £18.
  
  Corinthians - The Cardinal Pub, 23 Francis Street, London, SW1. 7.30pm on 2nd, 4th and 5th Thursdays of the month. Email: [email protected].
  
  Grosvenor Square Speakers - The New Cavendish Club, 44 Great Cumberland Place, London. 6.30pm on the 2nd and 4th Mon of each month. Contact Monica Stroink on 0207 498 5881.
  
  Berkeley Square Speakers - The Lansdowne Club, 9 Fitzmaurice Place, London. 8am on the 1st and 3rd Wed of each month. Contact David Sellman on 0208 668 8114.
  
  Cardinals - The Cardinals Pub, 23 Francis Street, London, SW1. 7.30pm on 1st and 3rd Mon of the month. Email: [email protected].
• See Speech Help in the Directory for full listings which include companies like BestMansSpeeches.com who provide custom written speeches and jokes.
• Check out www.hitched.co.uk and www.thebestmanspeech.com for example speeches, one-liners and tips.

How long?
As a general rule, try and keep your speech between 2 and 5 mins. You want to leave your audience wanting more.

Dutch courage?
It's tempting to knock a few back to calm your nerves. Our advice is to have one spirit to take the edge off but then leave it at that. You'll be glad you did.

Another way to beat the nerves is to practise. Practise your speech on close fiends. This will help you feel more confident about your delivery and you'll get some feedback on your material. You will also discover how long it takes so you can make some adjustments. Don't forget, your friends are good sounding boards and may provide you with the odd bit of material here and there.

If you have a camcorder, try recording yourself. It's amazing how useful this can be and what you can learn about yourself. Remember, it's not a test and you might even find that you enjoy yourself.

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