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Day 5 | Session 3
Over No. 82: England 110-3 Gayle stops in his delivery stride and threatens to take Vaughan's- backing up at the non-strikers end- bails off.
They're saying that you're not allowed to do that anymore.
Really? When did that change?
Well anyway, it's hardly the most friendly thing to do with only 3 runs needed.
Slippery old Gayle finally sends the ball down and Colly duly cuts for four
AND THAT'S IT!
England win by 7 wickets.
Virg misses out on his 50 by just 2.
England undefeated in the series. 3-0.
It's been easy hasn't it? It'll be trickier against the Indians later this summer I imagine. And in the One Dayers against West Indies too. Both they and England are equally as hopeless as each other, so we should have a good game..
The England chaps have all gone up to the changing room in Chester-le-Street and you can see them, arm in arm, singing 'the team song'.
I wonder what song it is..
If you listen carefully you can just about hear KP's falsetto..
Actually, KP has a helicopter laid on by the ECB to take him down to Hampshire for a game tomorrow.
It's just landed for him.
I bet he's LOVING this..
Man of the Match and Man of the Series goes to Shiv Chanderpaul.
He's taken off those funny patches under his eyes..
and the skins a different colour. I think he's had a reaction to the glue! Or they were always just an elaborate cover to some bizarre eye patched sized problem he had under both eyes.
Maybe we'll just never get to the bottom of it.
Anyway..
England's Man of the Series goes to Monty.
He looks GENUINELY surprised and thrilled to get it. Ahh. Inhne sweet.
Damo Tyner (can't vouch for his sweetness or not for certain, sorry) writes in:
"Something brilliant"
and demands a prize.
If you've been reading then you'll 'get' his 'joke'.
And if you HAVE been reading, then thanks.
And thanks for all your emails.
We'll be back for the One Day series.
Until then, keep in touch (here: [email protected]) and look after yourselves.
See you all soon.
Over No. 81: England 106-3 KP out! Pietersen is FURIOUS.
He tries to go on his back foot again and punch through the covers but gets an outside edge straight to slip. He's out for 28. And- worse- he's out to Chris Gayle!
He STOMPS off the pitch. Face like thunder.
Only 4 runs needed
Over No. 80: England 104-2 Got thrown out of the site there.
Too many of you logging on to read about the final few runs?
Maybe too many kettles gone on in the London area as this formality runs its course.
Anyway back on now.
Virg looking in very good from out there.
He's made 45 runs off 45 ball.
Get him back in the One Day side!!
Pietersen rocks on to his back foot to smash Samuels away through the off. He misses. So does Ramdin behind the pegs. It runs for four byes.
Over No. 79: England 85-2 That's it. The Windies have officially given up.
They've brought on the spinners now.
Here's Marlon Samuels tossing up a few flighers.
Virg and KP paddle him around for three singles.
This is going to be a tedious end to proceedings..
Over No. 78: England 82-2 Expensive over from Powell.
Vaughan drives for a boundary.
Pietersen follows up with a ball outside the off pulled all the way to deep midwicket.
Throw a few singles into the mix too and you've got to say, England are cruising to victory here.
Damien Tyner asks me if I googled his look-a-like Adam Carolla.
Yes, I did Damo.
You must have very big eyebrows.
Over No. 77: England 71-2 Edwards still no-balling all over the shop.
Pietersen drills one through mid wicket for three.
Then pulls another short pitched effort for a dismissive four.
Andrew Shaw's gone quiet since his
"the windies are on the way to victory"
and his
"come on boys you can do it"
earlier.
Thoughts now Shawy?
Or anyone. This site is for EVERYONE you know. We know there's loads of you reading, so email in! Say something brilliant and you might win a prize!
[email protected]
Over No. 76: England 62-2 Two twos from Virgil on both sides of the wicket.
Good running there.
How did I ignore this email from Andy Lawrence earlier?
"Afternoon, not to say I told you so but my sources were proved right re Virgil!! However I still promise to never use these sites again!! So Kemp who do you think should get the job?? Your journalistic and supreme cricketing input would be appreciated!!"
Someone asking my opinion!
Well I'd give it to Trescothick. Why not?!
We need to get him back in the ODI team. Maybe a bit of responsibility is what he needs to sort out his 'issues'. Or maybe he'll have some terrible meltdown in the middle of the pitch.
Either way's fine with me.
Your thoughts on the One Day captain readers..?
[email protected]
Over No. 75: England 58-2 Vaughan drives elegantly through the covers for four.
You know what it looked like. We've all seen it a million times. Doesn't get any uglier though.
Talking of ugly.
Ben Jobson would rather look like Chris Waddle than Leonardo Di Caprio.
It's true! Look..
"Bah!" he starts in true Beano style
"England will probably get themselves all out before I get home from work now!
IÕve been told I look like Leonardo Di Caprio and Michael OwenÉ.which makes me sound a lot prettier (and shorter) than I really am. And I run like Chris Waddle, which bizarrely IÕm more proud of."
Over No. 74: England 49-2 Powell gets the treatment from KP.
Drops it short and gets heave-hoed over midwicket for four.
It was like Tom O'Riordan knew what was coming...
"Stephen Merchant hereÉ.
KP is going to put on a show now!!"
Let's hope so...
Vaughan looking good too. A push through long off brings up 3
Over No. 73: England 40-2 Morto Morton has a wild throw at the stumps (even though KP had safely made it home by yards).
The ball almost upends the umpire trying to get out of the way and sails for 5 overthrows.
Morton doesn't do his usual howling and slapping of the turf THERE.
There again, he's rumoured to be a bit of ne'er do well is Morto, so no one else says anything either.
Talking of ne're do wells, here's Harry Potter. I mean Alex Largey Large:
"Thought I would say helloÉ howÕs things.. been following the commentary but haven't written in. Admiring from afar I suppose you could say."
Admiring from a far! That's what I like to hear.
Oh Virg. Pulls one up in the air, but it bounces just in front of Devon Smith and over his head for four.
Costly over this one..
Over No. 72: England 30-2 Well THAT'S Wing Commander Strauss gone!
Don't really on butterfingered slip fielders- clean bowl him!
Powell sends in a fast, swinging, pitched up delivery... and Strauss is left looking back at his cartwheeling off stump with a face like he's just been told the old family pile's got dry rot. Or his favourite pair of spats will have to go.
These two bowlers haven't given up, even if the body language of everyone else on the field is saying THEY have.
This is what you'd call a wobble for England..
Wouldn't you say?
[email protected]
Over No. 71: England 29-1 Wing Co Strauss gets ANOTHER lifeline.
Flashing with the blade a long way from his body, gets a big nick to the slips ...and that's a bad drop, cold fingers or not.
Fiddy does well this time to keep himself from exploding in a series of expletives.
Chris Evans failed to give us the required info on look-a-likes in his email. But as he says, he's had it tough enough already:
"I dont look like anyone but I get enough stick from my name with out looking like any one else as well"
Over No. 70: England 28-1 Hello all. Here we are again.
England only need 87 runs in this session to win.
Chris Evans writes in:
"hiya Kemp,
How many overs do u think there are going to be left? And also surely England wont take the bad light if they are offered it?"
There are 47 overs left. And, no, of course England won't take the light. Though of course, if it really gets ridiculous the umpires can abandon the game if the light's too bad.
I meant to reply to out American convert to cricket, JMike Hammond, AGES ago about this. He wanted to confirm that theres' "no mathematical adjustment of the chase total in Test cricket, right?"
Quite correct JMike. As you get draws in Tests unlike the One Dayers.
So we'll be here till England win or the overs run out and it's a draw.
Or the Windies bowl England out...
So a England win then.
And that's 2 singles a piece from Strauss and Virg off Powell to help them there.
Well, hello there. Who'd have thought, after the horrid Durham weather on the first couple of days, that we'd be staring down the barrel of a likely result on day five? Oh, you thought that? Well, good for you. The equation is much simpler than the England one-day captaincy debate: the hosts need 7 wickets to take the series three-nil, while the Windies need to hold on for dear life. Thoughts to [email protected], and join us from 10am! Weather permitting.
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